Most people assume all dinosaurs were terrifying killing machines, but the reality is that many were basically oversized chickens with attitude problems.
If you found yourself in a Jurassic scrap, your chances would actually be pretty decent against quite a few prehistoric opponents. While we’ll obviously never get the opportunity to test this theory, you can pretty much bet you’d have come out on top against these (relatively) little guys.
1. Compsognathus — The ankle-biter with delusions of grandeur
These tiny terrors were only about the size of a chicken and weighed less than 7 pounds (3.18 kg). Despite their fearsome reputation from movies, they’d basically be like fighting an angry rooster with teeth.
Your main advantage is reach and weight — you could literally punt one across a field. Their tiny claws and needle teeth might cause some scratches, but nothing compared to what a determined house cat can do to you on a bad day.
2. Microraptor — The feathered drama queen
This crow-sized dinosaur had four wings and looked more like a flying squirrel with an attitude than a fearsome predator. At just 2 pounds (0.91 kg), it was built for gliding between trees, not ground combat.
Even if it tried to dive-bomb you, you could probably catch it midair like an aggressive frisbee. Its claws were designed for gripping bark, not shredding large mammals, so you’d mainly need to worry about it being annoying rather than dangerous.
3. Epidexipteryx — The peacock wannabe with commitment issues
This pigeon-sized show-off was covered in decorative feathers and spent most of its time trying to look impressive rather than being actually threatening. It had no flight feathers, just fancy display plumes for attracting mates.
At 6 ounces (0.23 kg), it would be like fighting an overly dramatic budgie. Its main weapons were tiny claws meant for catching insects, not battling creatures 300 times its weight. You could probably just blow on it and win.
4. Fruitadens — The reluctant vegetarian midget
This plant-eater was only 28 inches (0.71 m) long and weighed about as much as a house cat. It had tiny teeth designed for eating seeds and small plants, making it about as threatening as a rabbit with anger management issues.
Its defence strategy was basically “run away really fast,” which wouldn’t help much if you cornered it. The worst it could do is give you a nasty bite equivalent to what you’d get from a cranky hamster.
5. Anchiornis — The goth kid of the dinosaur world
This black-feathered tree-dweller was roughly crow-sized and spent its time hopping between branches looking moody. It had weak flight capabilities and claws better suited for gripping than fighting.
In a ground fight, it would be completely out of its element. Its strategy would likely involve a lot of dramatic flapping and squawking before trying to climb the nearest tree to sulk about the unfairness of terrestrial combat.
6. Sinosauropteryx — The fuzzy lightweight champion
The first dinosaur discovered with feathers, this turkey-sized predator was covered in primitive fuzz and had a striped tail like a raccoon. At 12 pounds (5.44 kg), it was built more for show than for serious combat.
Its main prey was small mammals and lizards, so fighting something human-sized would be like a house cat trying to take down a grizzly bear. It might look fierce, but physics isn’t on its side.
7. Hesperonychus — The hyperactive chihuahua
This tiny raptor was only 19 inches (ca. 48 cm) long and weighed about as much as a large chicken. Despite being related to Velociraptor, it was basically the runt of the dromaeosaur family tree.
Its sickle claws were proportionally smaller and designed for catching prey the size of early mammals. Against a human, it would be like being attacked by an overly caffeinated chicken with pretensions of being a dinosaur.
8. Epidendrosaurus — The tree-hugging hippie
This sparrow-sized dinosaur had extremely long fingers for climbing and spent its life in trees eating insects. It was about as threatening as an angry squirrel having an existential crisis.
At just 5 ounces (0.19 kg), you could literally flick it away with one finger. Its entire combat strategy would involve trying to climb you like a tree, which would be more amusing than dangerous.
9. Juravenator — The bald and confused
This small theropod had patches of both feathers and scales, like it couldn’t decide what it wanted to be when it grew up. At 2.5 feet (0.76 m) long, it was basically a confused turkey with an identity crisis.
Its teeth were tiny and designed for eating insects and small prey. In a fight, it would probably spend more time having an existential crisis about its appearance than actually trying to hurt you.
10. Scansoriopteryx — The clingy ex-boyfriend
This bizarre dinosaur had extremely long third fingers and spent its time clinging to tree trunks. It was sparrow-sized and built more for hugging bark than fighting anything mobile.
Its combat strategy would involve trying to cling to you desperately while you shake it off like an overly attached pet. The main challenge would be getting it to let go rather than avoiding any actual damage.
11. Qantassaurus — The anxious vegetarian
This small ornithopod was built like a nervous deer that spent too much time at the salad bar. It had no weapons beyond a mild ability to kick and a talent for worrying about everything.
At human height but much lighter build, it would be like fighting an anxious gazelle that kept apologizing. Its main defence was running away while hyperventilating, which wouldn’t work well in confined spaces.
12. Leaellynasaura — The big-eyed worry machine
This polar dinosaur had enormous eyes for seeing in the dark Antarctic winter and spent most of its time being scared of everything larger than a breadbox. It was built for fleeing, not fighting.
With its deer-like build and plant-based diet, fighting it would be like picking on Bambi’s nervous cousin. It would probably just stare at you with huge, guilt-inducing eyes until you felt too bad to continue.
13. Bambiraptor — The disappointingly named letdown
Despite its intimidating “raptor” designation, this dinosaur was only 3 feet long (less than a meter!) and built more like a feathered chicken than a killing machine. Its sickle claws were proportionally tiny and not particularly sharp.
The main challenge would be taking it seriously when it has a name that sounds like a Disney character having a midlife crisis. It would probably try to look menacing, but just end up seeming like it was asking for a hug instead.